The Problem with Today
We can’t just sit anymore — almost as if the act itself is some lost art.
As opposed to taking moments of quiet introspection and contemplation, we find ourselves mindlessly absorbed in our phones, aimlessly scrolling through feeds or texting friends to fill an apparent void.
What our incessant need for stimulation has inevitably led to is a culture that lacks intentionality,
Devoid of thoughtfulness,
Missing consideration,
Deprived of humility,
Absence of creativity,
Deficiency in originality,
And above all, stripped of authenticity.
All because we simply do not have the capacity to sit and be with ourselves anymore.
And by “sit,” I mean truly grounding ourselves, immersing in the present moment in front of us.
By having the capacity to live more readily in the present moment, this is where creativity, out-of-the-box ideas, or what may seem like a simple, mundane task and/or activity transforms into something precious and meaningful.
However, what inhibits many of us from doing so is that when we attempt to be still and quiet, a certain anxiety begins to creep in and gnaw at us.
This anxiety, is actually caused by the Voice within us; the Voice that has been clamoring for our attention, urging us to awaken to the reality we have been neglecting and acknowledge the disconnection between our curated external reality and our internal truths.
This Voice inside of us is also known as our voice of reason, our consciousness, our intuition, our inner sense of knowing, our internal guidance system.
A system that is designed to help remind us of our truths, of who we are at our very core, and serve as a tool guide or map towards living in alignment with our most authentic and purposeful selves.
Yet, what happens is that this inner voice gets drowned out by all the external noise around us;
– from our parents, our families, our peers, our colleagues, our coworkers, or
– from societal, cultural, and religious expectations that all deeply embedded deep within us.
So deeply embedded, that it makes us believe in anything and anyone other than ourselves.
Listening to people, ideologies, and other entities outside of us that convince us out of believing in ourselves, and instead believing in self-limiting beliefs that we are inadequate, unworthy, undeserving, and not enough in contrast to who we are “supposed” to be.
Let this be a kind reminder that we are not supposed to be anyone or anything other than who we already are in this present moment in time.
And as we continue to dive deeper and deeper into our lives continuously listening to the outside, believing in these self-deprecating and self-limiting thoughts, we drift farther away from our internal guidance systems.
This is how we lose our way.
And this arbitrary, unsettling feeling of loss is actually the discrepancy between who we truly are versus who the world told us we were supposed to be.
And in moments when we are confronted by this discrepancy more and more, these can then manifest as anxiety or panic attacks — bouts of crippling anxiety that occur when we are confronted by the differences between our internal reality and our external reality.
And the reason why our external and internal worlds become so disparate is because we had started feeding into the wrong priorities.
We started exerting so much time, energy, and effort into how we looked on the outside, into the person that the world wants us to be, act, think, look, and feel.
So much, to the point that we become so disconnected from how we truly are inside.
And who we are inside is most reflective of the most raw, authentic, and best versions of ourselves; yet we fail to give our internal selves the time of day.
What ends up happening is that the more and more we get lost in the heat of what the world wants us to be, we lose ourselves even more.
And then as we get older, we wonder why we had just grown so terrified to simply sit with ourselves, because those thoughts, emotions, and feelings get “louder, and stronger.”
They become so overwhelming, that we have grown to demonize these heavy thoughts and emotions, because it reminds us of how far we have grown away from ourselves.
And to even start this process, of trying to rebalance these two paradigms, seems nearly impossible.
How to Find Our Way Back to Ourselves
What I recommend is taking a step back, and first of all, give yourself the grace and compassion regardless of wherever you are in this process.
The greatest life evaluation of trying to figure out where you are amidst this entire journey of whether you are living in direct alignment between who you are at your core versus how you present yourself to the world is by asking yourself this question,
“Have I been living my life according to my ego, or to my Soul?”
The best way to delineate this is to see if your decisions and actions are being driven and fueled by the constant pursuit of status, reward, financial gain, on top of the pursuit of being an incessant rat race, or are your decisions and actions being motivated by your willingness to serve a certain purpose that is near and dear to your heart, driven to serve a cause far greater than yourself, and that in the simple act of doing you feel your heart’s greatest, most fulfilled contentment?
This is important for you to truly reflect upon and be objectively, brutally honest with yourself.
At the end of the day, the only person you are cheating yourself out on and lying to, is you.
Because whether you convince yourself that working a 9-5 job or working nearly 100+ hours a week in some corporate finance job is satiating to yourself, that is a conversation and life experience that is between you, and you alone.
(and don’t get me wrong, there’s something out there for everyone; but clearly if you have read this and made it this far and on top of that are feeling a slight emotional charge inside of you, then this might be something worth looking further into)
Regardless of your current position in life, the importance is recognizing whether you are truly living your life with intentionality, aligning your actions with your core essence.
Here is a stark comparison of what it looks like to be living a life that has been nurturing your ego versus nourishing your soul:
Feeding our Ego
Fueled by status, financial gain, external validation
The constant pursuit for more, because what you have in the present moment is not enough
Thought patterns constantly fill your mind of not having enough, not being enough
Our actions and the way we carry ourselves based on how we think the world wants us to be
Feeding our Soul:
Fueled by gratitude, love, and purpose
What you currently have in the present moment is exactly what you need, which is more than enough
Able to access to our intuitive thoughts, guiding us through synchronicities and what action to do next
Our actions and the way we carry ourselves are reflective of the highest version of ourselves, and our soul’s driving purpose
Why this is such an important topic is because understanding the delineation of whether we are living our lives predominantly driven by our ego or our souls dictates the world we live, and the reality that we experience.
To live a life of constantly feeding the ego is akin to hell on earth, whereas nurturing the soul offers a taste of heaven on earth.
Ultimately, the choice lies with us:
Will I do the work towards living in authentic alignment with my core, or continue perpetuating feelings of inadequacy, judgment, and incessant anxiety?
Whatever the case may be, remind yourself that you are worthy of all the best that this life has to offer – so long as you proactively put in the work to align yourself with what truly matters.