What does it mean to actually care for Self?
The number of times I encounter patients, family members, and friends asking me about what is the best way to lose weight, or simply get healthier in general - whether directly, or in subliminal forms of expressing what various symptoms they present with pretty consistently (e.g., low energy levels, increased susceptibility to colds and diseases, and chronic stress - which no, are not normal signs of aging)
I respond with, it all starts with actually taking self-care seriously.
And no, I’m not talking about the kind of self-care where we put a face mask on and try everything to block out the seemingly insurmountable stressors and pressures from the outside world.
I’m talking about taking a step back and asking yourself, how am I caring for myself?
How am I showing up for myself each day, ensuring that I am being taken care of?
Sometimes, it could be anywhere as simple as drinking one extra cup of water than you typically do to hydrate yourself, especially during your busiest days, or it could be honoring yourself, your time, and your energy to step away from any relationships that are no longer serving your highest good.
There is such a broad spectrum of ways we can truly care for self, but in the hectic lives we all live day in and day out, the first thing to go is ourselves.
We let go of the need to nourish and hydrate our bodies, we let go of the need to move and exercise our bodies, we let go of practices that we know we need or may not even be aware of to manage our anxiety and/or stress.
Not only do we neglect ourselves and our needs, but in this process of putting our own selves on the back burner, we subconsciously send messages to ourselves such as I don’t deserve good things, or that’s too good for me, etc.
And guess what? In a world that already preys on our deepest fears and insecurities, these internal stories and narratives start to feed into that as well and hold us back from truly living in alignment with our highest, most authentic, and most empowered versions of ourselves.
Sadly, again the external worlds prey on the fact that we don’t seek out and challenge our potential. Hence why through various forms of social media and news propaganda, general food advertisements and commercials, the way our own healthcare is set up – are sadly all against the people if we don’t understand how those entities are brainwashing us.
Yet, the best way to not allow those things to consume us is by building up a strong sense of self.
You may be thinking, well how in the world is “starting with self” going to help me lose weight by the summer time?
Well, let me tell ya.
In the broadest example, let’s say your goal is to lose weight by the summer.
So our natural line of thinking is, “I have to start cutting out everything I ever enjoy food wise, I have to go to the gym and become a relentless gym rat which I absolutely despise, and then spend three to four hours of my precious weekends to meal prep shit I don’t even like. And then to top that off, I think I heard intermittent fasting and keto diets being the ultimate way to lose weight so I think I’m going to start doing some variation of that.”
This is not in any shape or form sustainable.
Now, let’s try coming at this very same goal at a slightly different angle.
Instead of simply stating what your goal is, follow it up with why you want to achieve this goal.
“I want to lose 25 pounds so I can be more in shape for my kids.”
“I want to lose weight so I can hike up Macchu Picchu with my spouse even when we’re 50.”
I want to lose weight so I can love the person I see in the mirror, without shutting them down and being so hard on myself.”
See how that feels different?
When there is intention tied to a goal, this evokes a different kind of urgency, accountability, and different feeling to aspire to.
Whereas, in the former example of simply wanting to lose an arbitrary amount of weight has no substance. No meaning behind it.
Now, to bring it all back, this is why we start with self.
When we don’t take a moment to truly put ourselves first, how can we better take care of the people who matter the most around us?
How can we better show up in the world and live out our Divine Purpose if we’re struggling to even get up out of bed, running ourselves dry to the ground because we’ve been stuck in this cycle of doing things we thought we were supposed to do but actually don’t bring us light and/or fulfillment.
This could be related to a job, a relationship, a circle of friends. (Now this is a whole matcha and a half of a conversation I’ll touch upon in another post).
So, before starting to overwhelm yourself with buying an excessive amount of fat- and protein- based foods to start a keto diet and intermittent fast at the same time cold turkey, I suggest taking a moment to sit down and ask yourself these questions first:
What is it that you want for yourself in this life? What is it that you think you deserve?
Why?
Now, what are you willing to do and sacrifice in order to make this happen?
For example, back to our original example. Let’s try to come back and answer these questions.
What is it that you want for yourself in this life? What is it that you think you deserve?
I want to lose weight. I think I deserve to live my happiest and healthiest life.
Why?
Because I want to be able to enjoy the body I am in, be happy with who I am, so I can better be there for my family and people around me wholeheartedly.
Now, what are you willing to do and sacrifice in order to make this happen?
I am willing to show up for myself, and support myself in this process by doing the things I know I need to do (and this list of actually knowing how to get there is a whole different post on its own).
Really ask yourself, what are you willing to do, what are you willing to sacrifice? AKA, how are you willing to show up for yourself consistently?
And after writing your answers out to those questions, read it, sit with it, and see how it feels.
Does it make you feel excited? Motivated?
Or does it scare you, feel daunting, kind of like your body is pulling you away from that?
If in either case you feel overwhelmed on how to go about this process of learning how to truly design the most optimal and sustainable wellness lifestyle that works best for you, I would be more than happy to support you along this journey.
I know how challenging and difficult it can feel wanting to completely change directions because you caught yourself realizing you may not have been going down the best path that honors your highest good, but uncertain how to run up an uphill battle because of how deep it feels you have already dug yourself.
The first step is always the hardest, but when you are setting the intention of honoring your highest good, you are never losing.
Lastly, if any of this resonates with you, I’d be happy to sit down and chat with you to explore ways I can support you. Whether this be through 1-on-1 support, through shared resources, or even to hold space for you to explore this. Think of me as your guide, support, and/or big sis along that journey who only wants to see you win and empower you to connect with your highest potential.